A symphony of pain and of healing, a symphony of lies replaced with truths, a symphony of anxiety yielding to relaxation, and a symphony of depression overcome by joy. This, my friends, is a description of the past several months of my life; it could be the description of any of ours. Every one of us, if we are honest find ourselves at a time in life where things are just ‘not as they should be’, where we desperately search for something to fill the aching, empty space in our heart. This ache could be caused by grief, abuse, dysfunctional families, childhood wounds, adulthood wounds, or even just the everyday battle of being. It may have been caused by others, self-inflicted or be a strange combination of both. When the season comes upon us, when we are desperately searching for the ‘cure’ to end the ache we begin to look for ways to alleviate the pain. For some, it is addictive behaviors, sometimes we look for loved ones to ‘cure’ us, sometimes we even look to ourselves for the ‘cure’, thinking if we were just better, stronger, more faithful, more obedient that the ache would somehow magically heal. I know because I have searched desperately for the ‘cure’ in all these places; for me it was most especially looking within, believing I should be able to fix the ache, believing if I were just stronger, more organized, had more faith that the ache would be ‘cured’. What I found instead was that for an ache to be truly healed that healing must be of, through and within my Master Composer; my Lord and my Saviour Jesus Christ.
The Master Composer has already written the symphony of Amy but what the past several months have taught me is just because a symphony is beautifully written does not mean it will be just as beautifully orchestrated unless I, the musician, follows the flow of the music set forth by the composer. I believe that God has written a beautiful symphony for each and every one of His children but so many times our eyes stray from reading the notes and following along. I like to think I follow the notes of the symphony, but the past several months have revealed the truth that way too many times my eyes stray from the music sheet, way too many times the notes are blocked from my vision by eyes full of tears, way too many times I simply tire of paying attention and look away. There are hurts in our souls, lies we believe that lead to fear, anxiety, and depression. These hurts, these fears cloud our eyes and cause us to lose focus, to stray from the notes He has so lovingly scripted for us. They cause our hearts to close down, to put away our instruments and refuse even to look at the beautifully written music. The longer the hurts, and fears keep us from His music the deeper the ache grows until finally we realize we can no longer bear the pain it has caused. It is in that pit, where we can no longer hear His music, where we no longer have the strength to lift our eyes to the notes in front of us; this is where we must make a choice, cry out to God for deliverance or continue living in our deathly quiet pit of depression. This is also where others have the opportunity to cry out for us, and where we, who have been in this pit, can recognize it and cry out on behalf of others.
I won’t lie, the choice I made to cry out to God was not easy; in fact, it was one of the most difficult cries I have ever uttered, it was so pitifully weak that friends who have been there interceded and strengthened the cry for me. It was riddled with pain of its own, fears that came from the depths of hell, shame, embarrassment, guilt and even hopelessness at times. Yet what I have discovered is the pain, fear, shame, embarrassment, guilt and even hopelessness were all musical notes of their own, written by God with a specific reason in mind. You see each of these musical notes if they stand alone are just notes, they make no sense, create no music, they are just sounds. Yet when they are followed together, in a pattern designed by the Master Composer they begin to create beautiful music. Notes of pain are followed by long stanzas of healing. Notes of fear precede an entire page of courage and strength. Notes of shame are quickly forgotten as they are replaced with love notes from the Father. Notes of embarrassment fade quickly as truth is revealed within. Notes of guilt are replaced with repentance and covered with the blood of Christ. And those notes of hopelessness? Friends those notes of hopelessness turn to an all consuming symphony, a symphony of joy created by the blending of all these beautiful notes. A symphony that is at once beautiful and painful, a joy filled lilt and a low wailing sound of grief, a quick percussion section invoking both excitement and fear and a stringed instrument section that puts a song of praise on our lips and in our hearts.
This is the symphony of the Lord, the symphony we can all be a part of, the symphony that is meant to catapult our lives into a way of living, loving and following the footsteps of the Master Composer Himself. This is a symphony of freedom, of grace, of love, of mercy that takes us from what has been and invites us to step forward into what He has written for us. A symphony composed by the Master Himself for each of us, in this time, in this season and in this place. Will you lift your eyes to His music? Will you step forward with a faith that knows each note (painful or not) is part of the beautiful symphony written especially for you before you were knit together in your mothers womb? If you feel you cannot step forward, will you allow a trusted friend to stand in that gap and step forward for you in prayer?
I pray today my friends for your eyes to lift to His music, your heart to open to His love and for you to learn to dance to the symphony created just for you, beautiful you, by a loving, gracious and merciful Father. I pray friends if you need someone to stand in that gap for you, that God brings to you a trusted friend full of the power of the Holy Spirit. I pray for your symphony to bring joy beyond measure to your heart. In the strong and saving name of Jesus Christ our Master Composer…. Amen